there was a trapeze. enough said
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
