Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
