We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize