you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize