do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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