Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
