Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
