there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
