Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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