So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
