The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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