I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
