no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
