He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
