im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
