You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
