We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
