Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
