If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the day after is always just damage control
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
