The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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