WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
