So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
