Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
