addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
