In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
