meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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