The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
