how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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