The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
