Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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