We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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