cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
