I showed him my bush... on skype.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
