he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
