So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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