Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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