I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize