This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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