Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
