She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
