My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
