First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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