Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
