why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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