Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
