i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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