this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
