hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize