My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
how drunk are you?
Several
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
