Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
a search helicopter?!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
