I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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