How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
