Im at strip club and am horny
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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