i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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