Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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