if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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