All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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