I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
what day is it and did you see me today?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
