Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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