ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
