That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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