I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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